So this doctor asked me, “What makes you such a determined person?”

I went to a rheumatologist today in hopes of getting answers to a year’s worth of mysteries (see yesterday’s blog…) and I got some encouraging news (for now, at least… I hope it’s permanent good news, or at least as permanent as good news is)–namely, he believes I have osteoarthritis rather than rheumatoid, and he’s not as on-board with the theoretical propositions that I have any serious stuff going on like myositis (which causes muscles to deteriorate/weaken). But the reason I am dropping in to add a blog post is that this doctor was amazed that I have lost a hundred pounds (imagine how he’d have responded if I told him it was the SECOND time I’ve done it , ha ha ha,) although I’m positive I’ve lost those same pounds hundreds of times in my life), and he was also blown away by the attitude I have, which is, “I’m strong because I’ve worked so hard to be strong, and nothing is going to get in the way of me continuing to be strong.”
He told me somebody should tell my story [me WHISPERING to you: I didn’t tell him my first 4 books are, in many ways, my story, and that my 5th book contains the most directly personal stuff since it’s non-fiction.]
He said, “You’ll be able to handle whatever is going on with you; I can tell. So–what makes you such a determined person?”
I said, “I rebuilt my life after it fell apart. I have worked incredibly hard to have the life I have today. I had a very traumatic childhood, and I had a mental breakdown when I was 38 and went through years of intensive therapy to become the person I am now. Being strong and feeling strong is very important to me. I don’t let things get in my way.”
I thanked him for giving me HOPE and told him I am incredibly ENCOURAGED. He did say I have more osteoarthritis in my hands than most people my age, but that he does not see evidence of the sorts of conditions I’ve been told I probably have.
Then he shook my hand and told me someone would come get me soon to schedule an appointment in 6 weeks–he wants to see me after the muscle biopsy results are in, and to see if the steroid he’s giving me for a few weeks to make what he called “the achies” to go away, works.
So I was on Cloud Nine, and I went into another room to wait, then somebody came & got me. I said, “Are you the scheduler?”
This lady said, “No, I’m supposed to take blood.”
I thought, “Wha—?”
Then asked her what she’s testing for, and I was told a laundry list of conditions including autoimmune disease, rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, etc… in other words, all these things I was just told I probably don’t have. I was like this.
So, to quote my husband, it’s more “Hurry up and wait.”
Guess we’ll see…

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